How to Have a Happier Thanksgiving - FAMILY PLUS Children's

Each year we hope and long for a happier holiday time. As we approach the holidays we pray our kids don't fight and our family time is perfect...yet it can be far from that in reality. The idea of having a "better holiday" not a "perfect holiday" has been on my mind over the last month. How do we get at that? How do we set up kids up for success this holiday season? How do we set ourselves up for success? Yesterday I ran across the article below by a seasoned parent and pastor. I think you'll find his one suggestion helpful to create a successful holiday season.

"It was one of those moments I was so thankful for and at the same time kind of wish never happened—someone explained to me what the key to happiness is.

Surprisingly, it’s not
making more money
having everything go according to plan
living with your every need provided for

You would think all of that would make us thankful, but it rarely does. Rather than engender gratitude, it tends to only provide some acknowledgment that what we hoped would happen did happen. And then we hope for a little better next time. Gratitude rarely enters the picture.

So what’s the key to finding gratitude?

Low expectations.

The lower your expectations are, the happier you are with whatever you get.

If you come home one afternoon and expect the house to be perfect, you can have a melt down over three dishes left in the sink (well, at least some of us can given our wiring). Conversely, if you come home expecting the kitchen to be a complete disaster but your kids have emptied the dishwasher and set the table, you might actually be grateful for what they did despite the fact that the counter looks like a warzone. It’s all about expectations.

On a trip to Guatemala a few years ago, I was astounded by how grateful the kids were for even the smallest things we would bring with us. Our team brought out a soccer ball one night. The kids were almost delirious with joy. We played for hours and they would go on to play for days, weeks and months with it.

Back home I had at least three soccer balls in my overfilled garage. I’m not sure one of them ever produced a genuine smile on anyone’s face.

The only difference? The expectations of those involved.

Low expectations foster gratitude because they help us see everything that comes our way as a gift.

High expectations tend to suck the gratitude from us, because even when they are met, we tend to see what’s come to us as an entitlement.

Entitled people (and entitled kids) are never grateful.

So what do you feel entitled to?
A ‘perfect picture’ holiday dinner?
Kids who do everything as told when they are told?
Three football games in a row?
A Black Friday shopping spree with a minimum budget of ______?

Hang on to those expectations and you’re pretty much guaranteed a disappointing Thanksgiving. Release them, and you might be surprised.

By the way, this also works for Christmas. And your job. And your marriage. And life.

It’s also what allowed Paul to be in prison and sing songs of joy.

Lower expectations really are a key to gratitude.

What expectations have you lowered? How has that helped you?"

Carey Nieuwhof, Lead Pastor of Connexus Community Church

You can view the article at The Parent Cue.

A Stained Comforter - FAMILY PLUS Children's

On top of the beds in our home are these really thick, decorative, and warm covers called "comforters." Have you ever wondered why they call them comforters? It's a simple answer that, when one thinks for a second, becomes clear. That cover brings us comfort. We can pull a comforter up tight to our necks and quickly find ourselves warm, secure, and hopefully quickly off to sleep. 

After having 3 children, our comforter is not the same as it used to be. It's stained in places from spit up and has a sharpie mark on it. You could say it's no longer perfect...it's blemished...just like us. This week we're talking about how God can use the imperfect, blemished people in our life to bring us comfort. Ultimately, God is the source of comfort. He is the Comforter, and we can bring His comfort to those around us. 

One of my favorite things to do with kids is to literally roll them up into a human taco using a comforter or blanket. Once you roll them up tight you simply talk to them about comfort and how God comforts us, makes us feel secure and protects us.

This weeks details are:

Scripture: 1Kings 17:8-24

Life Point: God is the source of comfort and can use people to comfort others.

Making the Most of a Difficult Vacation - FAMILY PLUS Children's

When I was a kid (I had to be around 8 or 9 years old) we took a week long vacation to the Augusta, GA area. We stayed in the middle of no-where in a kind of "all inclusive" place. They had a pool, lake, hiking trails, putt-putt, and that's about it. So you can imagine that as kids my brothers and I got bored pretty quick. My parents made the best of it...we hiked a lot it seemed like. On the hikes my dad, a 4H leader and Agriculture teacher, began to teach us how to identify trees by their bark and leaves. All of the sudden as we were walking along dad would stop our pace to a halt to learn about a particular species of tree. After a while our family's sarcasm morphed this activity into a joke. My brother and I began to make fun of our dad. We would lead the hike and suddenly halt the pace as we yelled "IDENTIFY!" while pointing to a tree. Then we would make up random facts about the tree that we had no clue about. My mom and dad were laughing so hard they were in tears. We still talk about this when we get together. When we get together as a family this story will almost always come back up. 

The truth is all around us there are things God provides we don't know about or recognize. What we need is someone to come along and tell us to "IDENTIFY!" the individual trees in the forest of provision God has placed us in. Now that it's cold and your kids will be inside more, make the most of it. Have them make a list of all the things they can think of that God has provided for them. It won't take them 5 minutes before they're done. I bet there will be things on it that you haven't recognized yet. This activity is designed to help kids recognize and be thankful for what has been provided to them by God before we enter the holiday season.

This week's details:

Scripture: Genesis 50

Life Point: God gives you everything you need.

Apologizing to My Boss - FAMILY PLUS Children's

When our kids are little and they offend their sibling or another child, what do we make them do? We make them apologize and then hug the child, don't we? The ability to apologize and forgive is lost on so many in this generation.

I once apologized to a former boss for some anger I had because of a certain situation and instead of saying, "I accept your apology and you're forgiven." He blamed all the other individuals that surrounded the situation which caused my anger. The issue I cared about was not who was at fault. I needed to apologize for those undue feelings of anger I held. Confession and forgiveness are more than saying, "I'm sorry" and giving a short forced hug. They are more sincerely done when one person looks another in the eyes and communicates their convictions and passions to truly restore their relationship to a greater place. How are you teaching your kids to apologize and forgive? 

Your child will need to apologize this week to someone, so slow down and teach them how to do it appropriately. Teach them that asking for and receiving forgiveness is a true measure of being a mature adult in Christ. They need to be able to look someone in the eye, state a sincere apology, and be able to receive forgiveness. If they don't understand earthly forgiveness, how can they receive heavenly forgiveness?

This week's details:

Scripture: Gen 42-45

Life Point: We forgive others because God forgave us through Jesus.